"Ignorance is bliss"

Apologies for those following for my lack of posts. The beauty of our trip is that we have the freedom to be in the community and create our own program. This however leads to us finding so much to do to fill our time that I have become so drained and exhausted! Also some other events have made me feel slightly down this week...

SAD NEWS

On Thursday I experienced something new and extremely upsetting. I heard that Baby Wasswa was sick and tried to call Edith. Upon not being able to reach her, I went with the other two to the Village of Hope to see the kids and spend the evening there. We ended up staying a lot later than usual, just playing with the kids and chasing them around their houses. I arrived home to a lot of messages with the awful news that Wasswa had passed away. I was so shocked and called Edith to see if I could go there, I didn't know what else to do. We were both in tears and I couldn't really understand much apart form that they had left to take his body to the capital city.

I have been lucky enough to have not lost a close friend in my life since I've been old enough to understand properly. Therefore this really hit me hard. Wasswa had been ill last Autumn and I had asked everyone to pray for him. I thought I'd never get to hold his little body again but God healed him and I have had the privilege of spending time with him since I arrived in February. His cerebral palsy means he can't use his muscles and limbs properly and he is constantly struggling to breathe. I am almost glad that the evenings events prevented me from going to see him as I would have seen him in an awful state. I will never forget the times I spent with him, spinning him and lifting him to squeeze out his amazing smile, despite his pain.

As awful as it is knowing he is no longer with us, it would be selfish of me to wish he was still here as his quality of life was so low. Edith had given him a home and love and care which I am so grateful for, however he couldn't do anything himself and was in constant pain. Now he is with Jesus and is able to walk and talk.

"When we die, we leave this earthly body, we will have a new eternal body in heaven" - 2 Corinthinans 5

The last photo I have with Wasswa (left)

Wasswa and I in 2014

HONEST THOUGHTS..

I recently read a blog post from someone who did a mission trip and it was so inspiring. I could totally relate to it and so this post will not just be stories of the past fortnight.

Being on a trip like this can and has elicited some interesting responses. Will had a particularly harsh anonymous comment on his blog telling him what we are doing out here is not helping anyone but ourselves. We are fully aware that attacks like this will happen but it is still always a shame to read such things. "and everyone who lives a Godly life will be persecuted"  2 Timothy 3:12
However it can raise some questions such as "why are we here" "what is our purpose" and "would this place be any different if I had never come here."
Life as a "missionary" may seem fun and exciting in the photos (yes, I do take a lot but I also love photography!) , and yes, it really is enjoyable. I intend in my photos to show Uganda as a place of joy and beauty as many people see "Africa" as a place full of poor people who travel miles for water and are all starving. Although there is a lot of poverty, that is not the whole story. There is a sense of contentment and joy, a feel of community, love for God and other positive aspects of the country and I want to show that instead of just 'poverty'.
The photos and the blog posts don't always portray the hard times that happen. I don't want to pretend all is perfect on the 'mission field'.

Whilst talking with a friend here, we discussed the need in the local area and how she is approached daily by different people asking for help. The phrase "Ignorance is bliss" came up and it's so true. Once you are presented first hand with so much poverty and people asking for help, you can't turn a blind eye to it or switch to the next channel. It is real and it is happening, right on our doorstep.

The reality is that although everyone at home is praising our work out here, we can't and won't change Uganda, or end poverty. And that's the hardest part. Although I am loving being here, it is impossible to avoid seeing pain and suffering; we almost become immune to it. Walking down a road past houses made of mud when even in Uganda our home is beyond adequate for our needs. Visiting women in the slums who are raising 5+ children alone and cannot scrape their monthly rent which equates to less than the cost of the trousers I am wearing. Holding a disabled child who can't move their arms or legs, will never be able to talk or walk, and has been abandoned by her ashamed parents. Sitting and holding such children and them weeing on you or vomiting and still holding them because you want to love them despite the situation you are in. Spending 15 minutes trying to feed the child  who cannot swallow due to their illness some porridge or rice and persisting while the food just wont stay in their mouth. These difficulties become normal when living here and I forget how far this life is from home.

When I first came, I used to avoid picking up certain children, the ones who look particularly difficult. I wouldn't even post photos of them as I feel it would be insensitive, but some of them have such disfigured bodies. I would leave them for the staff to feed. But I realised that I am not here to do what I am comfortable with. I'm not here for the cute photos with the children that are easier to care for. I'm not here to help and then go home and tell people of the "great things we have done".

Yes, we are trying to help people in the best ways we can find but even the hardest of days are nothing compared to the hardships of the people here. It is not what "we" are doing, but how God is using us. This blog is not about what I can do, but what God is doing in Uganda and this community. I am learning things every day. Things about Uganda, about God and about myself. I am learning to be wise in my choices, to see things through God's eyes and not my own, to be humble, to find good in situations, to do things, not for anyone to see, but purely because it's the right thing to do. Pointing at God and not at myself. I may have been given opportunities to help those I have met here, but these people have changed my life more than they will ever know.

Feeding David at Home of Hope

Please keep Edith and the Home of Hope staff in your prayers as they continue work after the loss of baby Wasswa, and that they have peace of mind that he is in a much better place than the world we know.

"Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus" - 1 Thessalonians 5:16